ManGlaze F--- Off & Dye

 promotional sample 

Today's post is...pink.  Really pink.  Fucking pink.  ManGlaze is an indie brand that bills itself as "the manliest nail polish known to man."  Last month they tweeted that Fuck Off & Dye is their worst seller, wondering out loud if it was the vulgar name or the rampant pinkness.  I told them I hate pink...so they sent me a bottle. #youAREsuchadick ...but thanks!

Fuck Off & Dye is a medium pink matte shimmer.

Fuck it's pink!  So pink!  There's kinda no escaping the pinkness.  Piiiiiiiiiiink!  I still hate pink.  I tried!  I wanna love this so hard...but...pink.  The bottle art by Jason Goad is really cool and I love the name.  The matte finish is outstanding too.  I'm really impressed by it.  It's not chalky like some matte finishes.  The application was good.  I got a few brushstrokes at first, but it was my application going wrong.  Two to three thin coats are best.  The shimmer really makes it, keeping it from being flat and looking like dried Pepto.

I glossed it up too, just to see how the shimmer would look.

Gorgeous, really...but...fucking pink!  I just can't!  Pink was my favorite color when I was a kid.  My 5th grade picture has me in a pink Blossom hat (remember those awful things we all wore in '92?), pink heart earings, and a pink shirt.  So much damn pink!  It's such a flattering color on me...but...fuck...I caaan't anymore!  Shame, isn't it?

I decided I should have a little tacky fun with it though.  The color is so fucking '80s that I had to go over-the-top.  I started off with just an accent nail of Fuck Off & Dye.

...but there was no way I was gonna stop there.  Next I stamped little bathroom men on it in black with Cheeky's Happy Nails plate.

...because men!  It's appropriate to the zombie theme of the bottle art that the one little guy has a MASSIVE hole in his gut.  I still wasn't nearly done.  I stamped pink-ish men on my index with Sally Hansen Digital, did a wide zig-zag down my middle nail with Fuck Off & Dye and Essie Good As Gold, and put a Fing'rs square stud on my pinkie.  Tacky as hell, no?

I glossed the whole mess up too for...unity?

While we're here, a word about that stud.  I'm not crazy about it.  It's from the Fing'rs Edge Heavy Metal nail art kit, which I bought at Rite Aid a few months ago.  The round studs are loose and come in a tiny bag, but the square studs have a sticky backing and are on  a card.  They have this awkward tape that passes the edge of the stud by a few mm.  I tried trimming the backing off, but it only kinda worked.  It's still slightly visible when it's glossy, but it sticks the fuck out when it's mattified and looks kinda...bad.

The tape sticks out and looks...not so great.  I think it's time to order studs from China.

Bottom line:  This shit is PINK!  But it's also really awesome on several levels.  I'm a bit surprised Nichole doesn't have it.  It's pink and it's covered in zombie art.  Seems custom-made for her.  I'm impressed with the matte-ness of it and I might have to check out one of their un-pink colors sometime.  I love the name, the art, the finish...but...fucking pink!

I did it!  I posted every day this week!  I'll admit, I fudged it a little yesterday...but I still did it!  It feels so good to be blogging so actively again!  Yay!  More goodies next week!  Exclamation points!!  And fucking cursewords!!!!