Slimdown Saturday: Trying to Un-Meh

Note- This feature touches on a lot of issues for me and may include what you consider TMI, whether physical or emotional.  Harassing comments will be deleted.

I'll skip the intro bit here and just meet you under the cut.  TMI warning, so you might want to skip it.

After a rough couple of weeks I know I've gained weight.  I didn't weigh myself today because I don't want to know how much I've gone up.  I decided I need to muster my determination and set myself back on the right track again.  I overindulged for all kinds of reasons.  Hormones, stress, depression...it's just been all of the same old pitfalls as ever.  I had  some of the worst PMS I've had in ages this month.  Almost two weeks of it!  It's normally pretty bad, but this was absurd both for the duration and the severity.  I felt like hell.  A sad, hungry, dejected mess.  It's easy to get stuck in a loop when I get like that.  I'll turn to "comfort foods", but then feel guilty.  The guilt stresses me out, so I eat.  That makes me feel worse, which makes me eat more and make worse food choices.  Recently I've been trying to break this pattern and turn that guilt in another, more positive, direction.  I want to see if I can redirect the guilt to the duration of the binge, not its contents.

This isn't a new strategy for me.  I've done it for the past few months while I've been writing this weekly series.  Most of the time I've kept the splurging to either sensible foods in large quantities or just a day or two of bad stuff.  These past two weeks I found myself unable to either control my portion size or avoid unhealthy foods.  I overdid it to the point of feeling sick several times, but I didn't bully myself about it.  I knew I'd pull myself together when I was ready.  Now it's time.  I don't feel good about the past two weeks.  Knowing you're out of control never feels good, but I'm not angry or disgusted with myself.  I think it helps.

My WWDiary settings have my new week begin at 12am Saturday, to match my workweek beginning at 11pm Friday.  That's part of the reason these posts go up on Saturdays.  It's a fresh week for me each time I write one.  Today I'm starting over.  I'm tracking my points again and trying to stay in control.

I don't know if I'll ever overcome binge eating entirely, at least not without professional help.  I've considered seeing a therapist for that and other problems.  I probably should.  For now though, I figure that binges will happen and that beating myself up about it will only make them worse.  I'm trying to stay positive instead, thinking about how good I feel (physically and emotionally) when I'm eating right.  It's an uphill climb, but that's good exercise, right?


Disclaimer:

This blog is not affiliated with or endorsed by Weight Watchers International, Inc., MyFitnessPal, or canofsleep.  Weight Watchers and PointsPlus are the registered trademarks of Weight Watchers International, Inc.  WWDiary is entirely the property of canofsleep.  All uses of registered trademarks and related terms are for review and reference purposes only.  Use of the MyFitnessPal tracker is for illustrative purposes only.  Any other brands mentioned are also for review purposes.  No compensation of any kind was received for this post.